Illusion
by ChibiCori
Summary: My first and only (as of yet) "serious" fic. For the first official Sailormoon Romantic FanFiction (SMRFF) Lyric Wheel, there is no ensueing hilarity, but there is a happy ending. Promise.


Illusion  
SMRFF Lyric Wheel Fic  
Author: ChibiCori  
e-mail: kamikaze_bunny_eater@yahoo.com  
website: www.chibicori.virtue.nu  
Rating: G  
  
Disclaimer: Gotta give credit where credit be due! Naoko owns Sailormoon! The   
song is from El Hazard. And I am very, very, very poor. So it would be abosolutely   
useless to sue me for using any of the characters and lyrics I have disclaimed above.   
Unless you want to sue me and then give me money, that'll be cool.  
  
Put away your prodding stick, QS. I finished this within a week of getting my song.   
I was a good girl.   
  
Illusion  
  
There is a grand illusion. One that no magician has yet to conquer and master. You   
cannot hide it up your sleeve, or pull it from a hat. No smoke, no mirrors, no tricks.   
And yet, as with every illusion, it has its devout believers in the magic, and its   
skeptics.  
  
For is there a more cruel and unlikely illusion, than love?  
  
*All I want to do is hold you now  
Fly together on the wings of the night  
Speeding down a skyway in the moonlight  
  
Tsukino Usagi loves Chiba Mamoru.  
  
*Where there were two of us there will be one  
With ev'ry kiss we know a journey has started  
  
This much was obvious as Usagi tilted her lips to Mamoru's temple. Startled, the   
dark-haired, young man dropped the book he had been devouring in the wee minutes   
of sunset that was left. He looked at the petite blonde sitting next to him on the park   
bench.  
  
They were on a date. They had gotten together for lunch, seen a movie that Mamoru   
was enthralled in, that Usagi later admitted she had slept through. He had stopped in   
a book shop to pick up a copy of the literature the movie had been inspired by, Usagi   
had snooped through some manga she couldn't afford. Then they took a walk through   
the park, Usagi had pulled him over to the swings and asked him to push her.   
Finally, they had settled down to watch the sunset, almost a tradition for them at the   
end of a date.  
  
This all flooded back to Mamoru as she watched him through glowing eyes, her   
cheeks painted a sheer pink with her blush. His own cheeks reddened, but not for the   
reason she was.   
  
He had forgotten she was there. She had simply sat next to him on the old bench,   
content only to be in his presense and quiet as he read his new book. All that and he   
forgot she was in his company. Did she realize that?  
  
Tsukino Usagi loves Chibi Mamoru. Totally, and with all her heart.  
  
*We'll be unafraid and open-hearted  
In a world of so much confusion  
  
The problem with that was, Chiba Mamoru wasn't sure if he loved Tsukino Usagi.  
  
*You and I must make this illusin real  
Knowing it's love we feel  
  
This knowledge settled like dead weight in his stomach.  
  
Never one to let his expression betray his thoughts, nothing revealed his secret as he   
stooped to retrieve his book, "What was that for?" Referring to the kiss she had   
given him moments earlier.  
  
Usagi didn't answer immediately, only waited for him to straighten, then reluctantly   
meet her blue gaze. Reaching out and fingering away an ebony strand of hair that   
had fallen over his brow, she finally said as she looked deeply into his eyes, trying to   
see the soul in the man she had chosen to give her heart to, "You seemed thousands   
of miles away."  
  
*Stay close to me  
You'll forget the city and the troubles of daytime easily  
  
Mamoru felt his insides tremble as Usagi's eyes attempted to probe his soul. Her   
eyes were deceptive pools, appearing to be shallow but actually deep. Deep enough   
to drown a man if he wasn't careful. And Mamoru was careful. To lose himself in   
her would could lead to disaster. For her, at least, he would not lead her on, give her   
no false hopes of his devotion to her. The only thing he wanted to explore with her   
was the pull, the intense attraction to her that he had never experienced before.   
  
Even just the admission of attraction was enough to freeze her out. Attraction was   
too closely akinned to...  
  
*This is the way life should be  
  
Mamoru finally looked away, a blush climbing up his neck. He was embarrassed,   
not for neglecting Usagi herself, but the love she offered him so easily, so freely.  
  
He couldn't bring himself to take it, or to offer his.  
  
*You are the one  
How could I imagine any joy in my heart  
If you are gone  
  
Chiba Mamoru could not offer what he wasn't sure existed. Love, was only an   
illusion. Anything he couldn't see, he couldn't touch, or use any other of his human   
senses to feel were not real. Usagi deserved something real, and his cynic heart   
wouldn't allow for that intangible thing to exist in the realm of his conscious.   
  
When it came right down to it, Mamoru had nothing to offer. The grand illusion   
love was, would remain just that, the grand illusion.  
  
*Let this illusion linger on  
  
With the attraction, Mamoru felt other things for Usagi. She made him laugh where   
he never would before she had crashed into his life.   
  
Joy.   
  
She didn't whimper or gush when she learned about his parents.   
  
Needing.   
  
Nor did she shy away from the topic, pretending it hadn't affected him and made him   
the man he was.   
  
Longing.  
  
For all this alone, he wished he could believe in love. So he could give her what she   
wanted, what she deserved.   
  
*All I want to do is love you now  
And find a passion we will never forget  
Someday I may lose you but, Baby, not yet  
  
Usagi's arm slipped through the nook between Mamoru's elbow and body then   
dropped her head to his shoulder. The final sliver of sun reflected in her eyes, the   
blazing-amber light sinking into true blue. Finally, the light snuffed itself out, but   
her own glow remained, flashing and shining over all she surveyed. Mamoru found   
his hand moving of its own accord to cover her's.  
  
*There never could be any softer touch  
You make me tremble with anticipation  
Giving me a lover's inspiration  
  
Usagi always said you don't deserve love, you just get it. Love isn't something you   
earn, or build up with good karma. Love just happens.  
  
So why wouldn't it just happen for Mamoru? It had to be because he didn't deserve   
it.  
  
*In a world of so much confusion  
You and I must make this illusion real  
Knowing it's love we feel  
  
Or because love was just an illusion. An illusion some embraced, others did not, or   
for those like Mamoru, simply could not comprehend.  
  
"Mamo-chan?" He heard Usagi say below him, "You're drifting away again."  
  
*Stay close to me  
You'll forget the city and the troubles of daytime easily  
  
Mamoru never knew love. Like many of his situation, he grew up in a sterile   
enviroment, void of those sort of things. His own tragedy had made him more   
withdrawn then some of the others in his home, some would even say morbid. Unfit   
for adoption or foster care either way.  
  
*This is the way life should be  
  
Mamoru had an inkling of love, that distant past as a prince who was mezmorized by   
a moon princess made of silver and ivory, the opposite of anything he had ever   
encountered before. Shimmering in the darkness he was used to, a pale ghost   
amongst the phantoms that haunted him, taunting him with damnable duty and   
inevitable war. It was those thoughts that allowed him moments like these with   
Usagi.  
  
*You are the one  
How could I imagine any joy in my heart  
If you are gone  
  
Even those memories, ancient as they were, were illusions. It was a different time,   
place. Different people. Mamoru was not Endymion. Usagi was not Serenity. The   
link of thier history, wasn't real either.  
  
*Let this illusion linger on  
  
What could compare  
Dreaming of a paradise, we let an emotion take us there  
Soon we are floating on air  
  
Endymion knew how to love, clung to the illusion of it to save him from madness.   
Found his safe harbor in the arms of a pale, slim princess who found him as   
compelling as he found her.  
  
*You're marvelous  
  
It wasn't fair to compare Usagi to Serenity. So Mamoru never did, but still held onto   
her, despite his not loving her.  
  
"I'm sorry." Mamoru again belatedly answered her. Was that it? Or was he sorry   
for something else entirely?  
  
Usagi smiled, gently shaking her head and pressed two fingers to his mouth, "We   
don't have to talk. We can just sit here, if that is what you would like."  
  
*Ev'ry time I put my arms around you  
It feels more glorious  
  
Usagi relinquished her hold on his elbow to wrap both of her arms around his middle   
in a new embrace. He heard her take a deep breath, inhaling his scent as she pressed   
her face into his chest. Her content exhale settled into his bones.  
  
She was an illusion too. A constant contradiction, Usagi was not real. No one could   
consume him as she had, no one could capture him in so little time and hold him so   
completely despite himself. Mamoru had made her up to keep him from loneliness,   
which was no stranger or illusion to him. Tsukino Usagi, like love, did not exist.  
  
*Let this illusion save us  
  
The spirit in his arms nestled deeper into his being, body and soul in sync with the   
love in her voice as she whispered softly, "We don't have to talk. We can just be   
together."  
  
*Stay close to me  
You'll forget the city and the troubles of daytime easily  
  
If Usagi was an illusion, then she was his. He would never let her go.  
  
*This the way life should be  
  
With the illusion of the very real Usagi, came the possiblity of a tangible illusion of   
love. The idea tickled at his brain, then slid to his heart. The beat became more   
rapid as love whirled through it and the rest of his body, leaving his nerve endings   
tingling and raw.  
  
*You are the one  
How could I imagine any joy in my heart  
if you are gone  
  
It's funny how it just happens. How loving someone can be so easy, if you could   
only allow the illusion to manifest. There was no "deserving," Mamoru just got it.   
And gave it. Wrapping his arms around Usagi to return her loving touch, Mamoru   
drank in the sight of golden aura, smelled the lingering scent of roses in her hair and   
tasted the swell of passion in his mouth. Love existed because Usagi existed, she   
embodied love for him.  
  
Within the circle of his arms, he felt Usagi shudder. As if she felt the feeling in it   
that had been absent before. Those feelings, that of her body snug against his, their   
hearts beating in union and against the others chest, the lips drawn together with no   
hesitation and the unspoken words passing between them, were no illusion.  
  
If there were any remaining doubts, baggage from years of denying love to or from   
him, Mamoru would shoulder them until they were no more.   
  
Until then, he would let the illusion linger on. For always.  
  
*Let this illusion linger on  
  
Chiba Mamoru loves Tsukino Usagi.  
  
There is a grand illusion. One no magician has conquered or mastered. You cannot   
find it in a magic kit, or in with a caged dove. The grand illusion exists only in the   
one who loves you. It proves it's authenticity with every touch, every word, every   
breath your lover takes.   
  
And even the most skeptic amongst us, cannot deny that.  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Very different for me. No jokes, no witty/naughty repoitore. Hope it worked, and   
that everyone enjoyed this little peek at the more serious side of me. I have one!   
See!  
  
^_~  
Cori!  
  
Written: August of 2002 


End file.
